le Vampiress Rin (morbid_dancer) wrote,
le Vampiress Rin

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~All I could say...~

...was "I'm sorry." A year and a half ago, Tegan broke my heart. After that, my love for him...died...he hurt me so badly. We stopped talking. He contacted me awhile back. I knew he was still in love with me, and that he would always love me. But I knew, on the inside, that I no longer felt like I had before. I'd found someone who loves me and treats me right, and it wasn't him. I lied to myself...I lied to him...I honestly thought, up until a few days ago, that I still loved him. But I wouldn't be with Mike if I did. I feel bad that I hurt him. He was the first person to really love me for me. And I thanked him for that. I cried as we hung, us both knowing it would be our last conversation. It was 1:30am. He's a hollow shell now. No one tried to save him... I did... but... then he shattered me. I picked myself up, but I had to be away from him. So there was no one to save him fromt he pain. He has nothing left to give. He's doing drugs and waiting to die. He said he's bored of life. He's experienced more pain than I know I could ever understand. Physically (from himself) and emotionally (from those he's loved and helped). *looks down* I know I have to let it go. I know I didn't do anything wrong. I hope someday he finds happiness. Even if it means in death.
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